Who Am I? Do I Rock?

Tonight, I had a glimpse of myself.

Does this happen to you? An experience that is so resonant, you know it’s you coming back from wherever you’ve been?

Well, tonight I watched School of Rock with my lovely daughter. The dvd was sent to me by my dear friend who is now a professor at the University of Illinois, but in the day we were both incredibly irresposible journalism students who loved 70s- and early-80s rock-and-roll and maybe a little punk. I’m sorry if this information taints your view of me. I was a product of my generation and frankly still enjoy it.

So tonight the girly and I watched School of Rock. Its impact could be matched only by a concurrent viewing of Dazed and Confused. The point is that the movie took me back to *me.* Me. Not injured me. Not wife me. Not mom me. Me.

This is a person I’ve been trying to find and embrace, but this is also a person that is infantile, undeveloped. Not a responsible person. But an authentic person. (Really words like “authentic” are a bit abhorrent to me, like “organic.” What do they mean? Simply, they mean I’m not lying.)

Anyway, despite the fact that artifical vocals and instrumentals are now popular, I like the real thing and I really like 70s electric guitars, keyboards and vocals. So when I hear them I’m reminded of the real me. The one that’s trying to crawl out from underneath this ridiculous fake shell that I’ve become.

Play on, and help me find myself.

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